Google is a stoner’s best friend. When the munchies hit late at night, and your thoughts wander into absurd territories, Google is there to answer the questions nobody sober would dare ask. It’s part therapy, part comedy, and always entertaining. Here’s our take on the most ridiculous, hilarious, and relatable searches that stoners everywhere have Googled at least once—and yes, we’ve got some answers. Spoiler alert: you’re not alone.
“How many marshmallows can a human eat before passing out?”
This isn’t just a munchie question; it’s a scientific quest for knowledge.
Spoiler Alert: The Guinness World Record for most marshmallows eaten in one minute is 25. But if you’re wondering how many it takes to pass out, let’s just say… don’t push your luck unless you want to test your gag reflex.
“Do my pets know I’m high?”
Every stoner with a cat or dog has wondered if their furry friends are judging them.
Spoiler Alert: Your pets don’t know you’re high, but they know you’re acting weird. Dogs might tilt their heads in concern, while cats? They couldn’t care less unless your snacks are within reach.
“Can weed expire, or is it like Twinkies?”
You find a nug from 2019, and suddenly you’re curious.
Spoiler Alert: Weed doesn’t spoil, but it does degrade. Over time, THC turns into CBN, which mellows the high into something more sedative. Old weed won’t blow your mind, but it’ll still do the job.
“If Snoop Dogg smokes a joint in space, can anyone hear him cough?”
This is the kind of question that keeps NASA up at night.
Spoiler Alert: In space, no one can hear you cough—or spark up—because sound doesn’t travel in a vacuum. But let’s be real, Snoop would find a way to make it iconic anyway.
“What’s the legal amount of weed I can hide in my sock?”
First of all, socks are not ideal storage solutions.
Spoiler Alert: There’s no “legal” amount of sock weed because hiding it is still sketchy in most states. Better to store it properly and avoid awkward conversations with law enforcement.
“Can I smoke weed underwater with a snorkel?”
The ultimate test of stoner engineering.
Spoiler Alert: Technically, you could try, but between lighting the joint and keeping it dry, it’s not worth the effort. Just wait until you’re back on land.
“How to train my cat to bring me snacks”
Because the snack run is way too far.
Spoiler Alert: Cats are untrainable assholes. Dogs might help for a treat, but your cat? They’ll knock over your snacks and pretend it’s an accident.
“Does weed make plants grow better if you blow smoke on them?”
High logic at its finest.
Spoiler Alert: Nope. Blowing smoke on plants doesn’t help them grow. In fact, it might harm them by blocking photosynthesis. Your cannabis plant is definitely judging you.
“What’s the loudest food I can eat without waking the neighbors?”
Late-night paranoia hits differently when you’re chomping on crunchy chips.
Spoiler Alert: Marshmallows and pudding are your quiet snack saviors. Chips at 3 AM? You’ll swear they echo through the walls.
“Can I adopt a raccoon if I name it Bong Marley?”
An absurd but undeniably charming idea.
Spoiler Alert: It’s illegal in most places to keep a raccoon as a pet. But dreaming of Bong Marley? Totally legal.
Bonus High Thought: Am I the Only One?
- “Does my weed dealer judge me for always buying the same strain?”
- “If I lose my lighter, is it technically in the same dimension?”
- “What if my snacks are secretly judging me for eating them?”
Late-Night Munchie Matchups:
Here are some 3 AM snack pairings only stoners would think to try:
- Pickles dipped in peanut butter (don’t knock it until you try it).
- Crushed Doritos on top of vanilla ice cream.
- A tortilla with shredded cheese and hot sauce—a “lazy quesadilla.”
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