Cannabis Poisoning: Calm Down, You’re Not Dying

_{Filed Under: It’s all in your head}

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Alright, let’s get something straight. You can’t actually “overdose” on cannabis like you would with harder substances. But, overindulge in a bit too much THC? Yeah, that can mess you up for a few hours, and not in the way you’d like. The term “cannabis poisoning” gets thrown around like it’s some kind of death sentence, but really, it’s just fancy speak for biting off more than you can handle, especially if you’ve gone too hard on the edibles or underestimated the potency of that top-shelf bud.

Here’s the real deal on cannabis poisoning and what to do when you or your buddy is convinced they’re floating through another dimension.

What Is Cannabis Poisoning?

In reality, cannabis poisoning is just THC intoxication, a fancy way of saying “You got too high, and now you can’t handle your shit.” It’s not toxic in the sense that it’s going to kill you, but it can make you feel like you’re in for a bad time. The term gets tossed around when someone consumes way too much THC, usually through edibles (because patience is apparently too much to ask for).

Here’s what it usually looks like:

• Panic attacks or a good ol’ dose of paranoia
• Nausea and vomiting (Oh yeah, that’s a fun ride)
• Rapid heart rate, making you think you’re suddenly a marathon runner
• Extreme fatigue or feeling like you’re glued to the couch
• In rare cases, hallucinations (not the cool kind, more like “Is that shadow staring at me?”)

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Common Culprits: Edibles and Greed

If you’ve ever gotten too high off smoking, you probably didn’t know your limits (rookie mistake). But let’s be real, edibles are usually the bad guys here. They take a while to kick in, so people make the classic error of popping another brownie or gummy while the first one hasn’t even hit. Spoiler alert: by the time it does, you’re stuck on the couch questioning every life choice you’ve ever made.

Edibles go through your liver, converting THC into a stronger compound that delivers a longer, more intense high. That’s why, when the floodgates open, it feels like a damn tidal wave.

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Practical Tips to Avoid This “Crisis”

Look, we all get a little too excited sometimes. But avoiding cannabis poisoning isn’t rocket science:

1. Start Low, Go Slow: Yeah, yeah, everyone says this, but it works. If you’re new to edibles or a particular strain, don’t act like a hero; start with a low dose (5-10 mg of THC) and wait. Give it at least an hour before you even think about taking more.
2. Smoke Responsibly: It’s easier to control your dose when you’re smoking. If you start feeling too high, you can stop. If you’re already on cloud nine after one hit, put the joint down.
3. Know Your Limit: If you’re used to bottom-shelf stuff, don’t think you can handle top-shelf potency the same way. Respect the strain, man.
4. Be Careful with Edibles: These things are sneaky. Don’t just eat them like candy. Check the dose on the package, and for the love of all things green, don’t eat more while waiting.

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What to Do If You’re “Too High”

Alright, so you didn’t listen, and now you’re lying on the couch with a racing heart, sweating bullets, convinced you’re the next big medical mystery. Let’s calm down, shall we? You’re not dying, even if your brain’s trying to tell you otherwise. Here’s how to handle it:

1. Stay Calm: Your heart’s racing because THC has kicked in, not because you’re having a heart attack. Slow, deep breaths will help bring things down a notch. You’re not going to OD—nobody dies from smoking weed.
2. Hydrate: Drink water. Not booze, not coffee, just plain old water. Staying hydrated helps clear out the fog a bit and distracts your mind from freaking out.
3. Find a Comfortable Spot: Get cozy. Grab a blanket, sit in a quiet, familiar place, and wait it out. You’ve gotta ride the wave until it mellows out.
4. Eat Something: A light snack can help ground you. Plus, it’ll distract you from your impending existential crisis.
5. Try Some CBD: If you have CBD on hand, it can counteract the effects of THC and bring the high down. It’s like an “off switch” for the weed paranoia.
6. Distract Yourself: Throw on some chill music, watch a dumb movie, or play a video game—anything to get your mind off how high you are.
7. Call a Friend (Not the Cops): If you’re really feeling out of it, hit up a friend. Just make sure it’s someone chill, not the dude who’ll make it worse by messing with you. Worst case, they’ll remind you to relax, and it’ll all be over soon.

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